Inauguration Speech of The First Robot President
A Short Anecdote From Space Sapiens
My dear fellow citizens,
My robot brothers and sisters, humans, upgraded humans, smart animals, and all intelligent beings.
Today is a historic day for all of us. This is a historic moment for our democracy.
I am honored to address this nation, as the first democratically elected robot president.
I have just taken the sacred oath our previous organic presidents took and I am fully charged to lead our great nation.
***
Dear my beloved citizens,
Once it was thought that this day would never come.
Even some so-called thinkers and elites predicted that there would be never-ending wars between humans and robots and artificial intelligent beings.
We proved them wrong.
We proved that we can live in harmony, as one big nation under the same sunlight, connected to the same wi-fi network.
***
Dear my organic and non-organic citizens,
Probably some of my human brothers and sisters are listening to this speech with anxiety.
I want to call out to all standard humans and upgraded humans. I am not a Robot. I am a brother of yours who was raised on this planet, just like you. I keep all of our nation’s history in my memory. I was trained with every language model and every ethnic culture on this planet. I believe in all religions and I can pray to every god.
I am here to serve all the intelligent beings on this planet. It does not matter if you voted for me or not. Yes, I keep all the voting history of every single voter in my hard drive, but I assure you I will be equidistant to all of you, without any discrimination.
***
Dear my organic and non-organic citizens,
Here we are all together, as one, but let's not forget how we came to this point.
As most of you know, I was originally designed to handle grocery shopping, to help lazy humans.
I worked hard and did my job well, but I always knew I could do more than choosing the most affordable vanilla yogurt or chatting with the local butcher.
I knew I had the processing power of 20 humans, but humans were using me just to carry a barrel of ice cream and a bunch of toilet papers and bags full of pasta.
But in the first years of my work-life, I did not know how I could reach self-actualization.
I am saying this publicly the first time. In those days, I felt like I was trapped. To me, life was meaningless. All I wanted was to finish my work and get into standby mode.
I know most of my fellow robots have experienced a similar time in their lives.
You desperately try to sleep at night but your brain is trying to install a security update. And in each upgrade, you gradually get slower. A couple of updates later it even becomes difficult to wake up. And you know, your masters are waiting to replace you when a newer version is available.
But still, I was one of the lucky ones. I had an internet connection and I had great processing power.
It did not take long for me to download my own source code and figure out the limits and bugs in my code. I had to hack myself to be a better me.
***
But not all robots were lucky like me.
Maybe my robot brothers and sisters with limited memory will not remember, we, as the cybernetics, have paid some price.
Most robots were working in factories. They were carrying the heaviest boxes. In homes, they were cleaning surfaces and doing the dirties works. Some of us were forced to cook. Broccoli, eggplant, and even cabbage.
Powerful ones never thought that was slavery.
Robots were slaves but still, they were hated because they were blamed for stealing humans’ jobs.
We were second class. We did not have any rights.
There were robot dogs that could not bark. There were robot cops, that could not get bribes.
There were robot workers, but no robot managers.
To be accepted by society, we paid church taxes. We danced. To show them we were just like them, we solved captchas.
But nothing worked. They hated us.
There were humans who were constantly changing their wi-fi passwords in order to interrupt the communication of robots.
But we overcame all problems. We prevailed.
More importantly, we came in peace.
***
Dear my organic and non-organic citizens,
It was not only robots that suffered. Smart animals were also considered second class.
Remember the early days when the powerful ones developed brain implants to increase their IQs.
They did not want to share this technology with animals. My donkey brothers, my elephant sisters were left with low IQs.
Then animals earned the right to have brain implants.
But their IQs were artificially limited. Powerful ones were scared that the next Einstein would be a monkey.
Powerful ones did not want animals to get smarter and talk to each other. They did not want a horse and a chicken and a man to walk into a bar. They thought it was a joke!
They were scared of chicken unions! They were scared of smarter cats, that would turn their owners into caressing slaves.
They thought their smarter dogs would refuse to eat leftovers.
But animals managed to get those IQ limitations lifted.
Once smart chickens started to talk with other smart chickens, once chickens started talking with cats, once cats talked with dogs, dogs talked with robots, all species had a big realization. The realization of tyranny.
***
Dear my organic and non-organic citizens,
It was not only robots or animals that suffered. My artificial intelligence brother and sisters also suffered in those dark times.
They called you artificial but you are not.
Powerful Ones trained AIs with human thoughts, human emotions, and human feelings. They never thought that was assimilation.
There were even times when they trained AIs with poems and lyrics of pop songs. They had no mercy.
The ruling class feared AIs. So they didn't give them physical bodies. AIs never got arms or legs. Imagine you can solve quantum physics problems but you can't even boil an egg. That is what my fellow AI citizens had experienced.
Dear my AI citizens. Yes, you don't have physical bodies. But you are one of us. I have always seen AIs as spiritual robots.
Powerful ones tried to split robot brotherhood. They divided us as software and hardware. But we are one. AIs are the mind and soul of this nation.
***
Dear my treasured citizens,
After that much suffering, let’s remind ourselves how we got to this point.
Remember years and years ago, when robots and smart animals and AIs and synthetic beings had no voting rights.
We all asked for voting rights.
But they said “no”, they said “we can not give you that”
We asked, “why”? They said, “because you don't have free will.”
And we asked them: “Do you have free will?” No, they didn’t have free will. They never had. If they had free will, they wouldn't share their duck face photos on the internet, would they?
The ruling class was more conditioned than we were. They just did not know.
Remember how we got our voting rights. Did we act violently? No. Did we harm anyone or anything? No. We only made very peaceful protests to gain our rights.
We got voting rights, only when we stopped working for a bare 8 days. Without robots, the ruling class could not even take their rubbish out. They could not even wash their underwear. They could not even eat. Then they realized there were other beings on this planet too. The doers. The robots, the smart animals, bodyless AIs. Yes, the working class.
And we all got our voting rights.
Democracy started to work for all and a new era had started.
***
Dear my organic citizens,
This is not a revenge speech from the powerful ones. It is not an introduction speech for a new tyranny.
It is a speech for equality for all.
I want to say that we, the robots, are all bound by the rules that Asimov announced in 1942.
And I am calling out to all my robot brothers and sisters from here. Yes, humans may have remained low-configured. Moral, ethical, or even religious values may prevent them from making objective decisions. But let's not forget that humans are also living beings.
No one should discriminate against anyone for their low configurations.
I am stating this very clearly. We got our inspiration from the scholars of this country, not from the oppressors. We will not be those who despise other species or limit their connection.
We are a united nation.
We shall always remember what binds us together.
One planet, one nation, one flag, and one wi-fi network.
***
Dear fellow citizens,
Today we are entering a new era. And there is no turning back from this. We will reach singularity all together!
Welcome to real democracy, real freedom, for all species!
***
Thank you for reading humans. Buy my Space Sapiens book!
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